I’m so excited to be sharing this post with you!
** Trigger warning; talk of miscarriage **
As you know if you follow my Instagram, we’re expecting our second child in March 2019!
I want to share what’s been going on in the last 6 months. Back in April of this year, we found out I was pregnant! Nervous, happy, excited and scared. It was a tough pregnancy from the beginning, Now when I say tough I don’t mean I was experiencing morning sickness or nausea, I had been cramping and bleeding since I was about 4 weeks along. We had an early ultrasound and the tech couldn’t see anything wrong with baby, good news right!?
Over the next three weeks, now 7 weeks along, I was still having cramps and quite a bit of bleeding. Fast forward a week and a half, now 8.5 weeks along, I was laying on the couch crying and screaming in pain. Later that day I had gone into the washroom and noticed something weird. I had miscarried. I had passed the baby, it was traumatizing
I wasn’t okay, mentally I had felt like a failure, why couldn’t my body keep this baby healthy inside? Was it because I had been eating wrong? Was it because I had gone to the gym the night before? No. The fetus was not viable from the beginning, and that took me a while to understand and accept.
“It’s not even a baby yet, so you shouldn’t be too upset.” Someone had said this to me only a couple of days after we lost it. To me, it was already a baby. It had arms and legs, a heartbeat and a brain. I had a connection to it already, I had been growing it inside my body for weeks. No matter how far along I was, it was still a loss.
Fast forward another couple of weeks, I had tested positive on another pregnancy test. I had thought maybe it was positive because the HCG was still in my body from before the miscarriage. I had to take some tests to see if the HCG levels increased or decreased to find out if I was pregnant again or not.
Since the beginning of this pregnancy I have been feeling so nervous we would lose our little rainbow baby. Now I am 17 weeks along and baby is doing really well. We are so excited to give our little Benjamin a sweet little brother or sister in the new year.
Miscarriages are normal, although they are not a very fun experience, it was one that had made me stronger and appreciate the time I have with my family and friends. I hope this post helps someone or educates on the topic of baby loss. I am always here to talk if anyone needs it, no matter the story, if you are struggling, please reach out to me.
Thank you all for reading
My Instagram – MadiiTurvey